In life, it is always possible to hear many people sigh: “Why life is so hard”, “life is too difficult”.
Grim employment situation, children’s academic pressure, family trifles of fuel, rice, oil and salt……
Every day we are trying to live, giving a lot of time, money and energy in the hope of making life easier.
But with a bottomless pit of difficulties that can never be filled, it’s hard not to feel discouraged.
Until one day I read this sentence:
“The reason life is hard is because it doesn’t have to be.”
We feel that we are not doing well enough because it shouldn’t be.
Because it should not be so difficult, so even though I am physically and mentally tired, I still feel that I can do something.
But we may forget that life itself can be that hard.
We are so good at being human and doing our best to live life.
It’s not that what you do isn’t good enough, it’s that life itself is hard
When you think about it, it seems like we all have moments in our lives where:
You’re working really hard, but your income isn’t what you want.
You’re exhausted, but you still feel like you’re doing something wrong. There must be something you can do to change.
Or the child’s grades are not good, and they are anxious to get angry and ask around for tutoring classes.
They and their children are exhausted, but still worry about whether they have not done enough.
According to some psychologists, the source of this anxiety is:
We like to believe that the complexity of our lives can be eliminated.
On the one hand, we’re overwhelmed, on the other hand, we’re not sure it can be.
We’re afraid we didn’t do a good job, and that’s what made it happen.
But a lot of times we forget that life itself can be so difficult.
In the adult world, we are used to looking for reasons from ourselves.
While a moderate amount of reflection can help improve, too much introspection can exacerbate feelings of difficulty and cause useless internal friction.
For example, we all know that when we are sick, we should take medicine, but it does not make us feel better immediately.
The process of recovery may be long, or it may recur.
Just because there is no cure for the disease, we should not be too difficult to “why so difficult”.
When we realize that “yes, it is so difficult”, we can use a better attitude.
Because most of the time, the pressure we feel does not come from the difficulty itself, but from the emotion in our hearts that “it shouldn’t be so difficult”.
When we accept that the difficulty of the matter has nothing to do with whether we are doing well, we can really focus on the difficulty itself.
As Romain Rolland once said:
True heroism is to love life after recognizing the nature of the world.
Let’s face it, life is hard.
Recognizing reality and stopping complaining is the first step to success.
It’s not your bad choices that make life so difficult
In his book The Road Not Taken, American poet Robert Frost wrote:
“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, but I could not follow them both.”
We all make choices at important points in our lives, either actively or passively.
And when we encounter difficulties, it’s easy to glorify the path we didn’t choose:
For example, if the job does not go well, I will think that I majored in the wrong major in college and entered the wrong profession after graduation;
If you have problems with your partner, you may wonder whether you chose the wrong person to marry or whether you should not get married at all.
Having trouble communicating with your child, wondering if your absence or inadequacy at some point in his life made him this way…
But is that really the case?
There is no denying that there is a butterfly effect in the world.
But it is also true that we are who we are today as a result of countless choices and countless experiences.
Most of the time, there is no one thing will completely lead to a result.
But we will in the passage of time, beautify their own never on the road.
As someone once said in his own jokes:
“A lot of married men like to say, ‘I wish I wasn’t married.'”
In their world view, there is always a parallel world where they are not married, and in that world they own the whole world except their wife.
Although it is a joke to say it, think about how we often think about it in our daily lives:
“It’s all because I didn’t run in the big city more, and now I can’t give my children a better life.”
“It’s all because I didn’t work hard to start my own business, but now I can’t find a job even though I was laid off.”
“It’s all because my family is too depressing. Now I can’t get along with people.”
“……”
But are these unchosen paths really so wonderful?
There is a saying that goes like this:
Married a red rose, over time, the red changed a touch of mosquito blood on the wall, the white or the bright moonlight in front of the window;
Married white rose, white is stuck on the clothes of a grain of rice particles, red is a cinnabar nevus on the heart.
Paying too much attention to past choices will only make us obsessed and stop us from thinking about solutions to current problems. It may even provide us with an excuse to give up and give up.
Life is hard. It’s not because you made the wrong choices.
Of course, there is no one right path, and once you choose it, everything will be fine.
Since the past can’t be changed, don’t waste the present.
Even if you are really wrong, please grasp the future.
The best time to change your life is not ten years ago, it’s now. It’s now.
Difficult things are normal. You are your own hero if you can get through them
Some people may say: I admit that life is difficult, but then what? Lie flat and rot?
Of course not.
It’s just that we can be a little less consumed when life gets tough.
As the saying goes:
Life is just the word “experience”.
From the time we come to this world to the time we leave here, nothing is born or died with us.
Therefore, the only thing that matters is our life experience and experience.
Since we have nothing to lose, we just go with the flow and make the best of it.
Meet difficulties first don’t rush to be sad, tell yourself: difficult is difficult, carry through the past.
Can not carry to let him go, life is not such a thing? How bad can it be?
Take, for example, a friend who has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for seven years.
She had always been afraid of marriage, but then suddenly decided to get married.
When her friend asked her why she was suddenly not afraid, she replied: “I just figured it out, anyway, I will leave after all. On the contrary, I am not afraid.
There is a sentence like this:
“People who are okay with a relapse of depression are less likely to relapse.”
Simply put: “barefoot people who are not afraid to wear shoes.”
When we accept that life’s difficulties are inevitable, we can cope with them with a more relaxed attitude.
Life’s difficulties don’t disappear, but they can certainly be dealt with.
If we really see them for what they are, we will be able to build Bridges across mountains and rivers.
As Maugham said in The Veil:
“Everything in this world is so ephemeral that nothing lasts long.
Isn’t it sad that people often cut each other loose over such small things?”
As hard as life is, we shouldn’t be hard on ourselves.
Acknowledge the strength of the opponent, and then recharge, prepare all the confidence and courage, and life beautifully fight a protracted war!
That’s what growing up and living is all about.
Finally
As the saying goes: When you understand that life is impermanent, you don’t panic.
Life is hard and always has been hard.
So if you’re feeling hard, remember, “It’s not your fault.”
When we look back at our past with a normal heart, we can understand that “this place of peace is my hometown”.