In 1986, Yale University psychologist Robert E. Professor Sternberg put forward the famous “triad theory of love”.
According to Sternberg, although human love is complex and varied, it basically consists of three main ingredients: passion, intimacy and commitment.
Love is perfect when all three are present. If intimacy and commitment can be replaced by love, then the most representative of passion is the human psychological response — “sex”. There is only love without sex in the relationship, that is, it looks bright on the surface, but it has long been decayed on the inside.
A good relationship is half love, half sex.
How important is sex to women?
“Lust, Caution” is a good film, not the famous “paper clip pose” eye-catching, because it perfectly illustrates how “sex” affects human nature, how to turn “me and you” into “we”; How it blurs all principles, reverses love and hate, and profoundly changes the relationship between two people.
When Wang Jiazhi was questioned by Lao Wu of intelligence station and the task was not completely executed, she said with complex expression: “What do you know? He not only drilled into my body, but also drilled into my heart.”
Grandma Zhang Ailing has long since made it clear: “To grasp a man’s heart, go through his stomach; And the way to a woman’s heart is through her vagina.”
How important is sex to men?
The Creator has designed them to pursue and experience this matter much more urgently and intensely than women do. Studies have shown that adult men subconsciously flash a sexually-related scene every seven seconds.
In “The History of the Demise of the Romantic”, the little man A and his fiancee childhood sweethearts for many years, but in the troubled times met a prostitute, after the delivery of the first night, he said: “I get addicted, I can’t leave you.” This is a bit jarring to the audience, https://fanyi.youdao.com/downloadbut director Cheng Er explains: “This is the most romantic confession I can think of from a man to a woman.”
The kind of stability in which innate instincts are satisfied is far beyond the constraints of education and moral construction. The quality of sex, to a man, has a certain meaning, which is proportional to dependence and loyalty.
How important is sex to a marriage?
Of all the legitimate relationships, the most unique and irreplaceable feature of marriage is sexual relations.
However, light sex, just animal sex, indulge in the ups and downs of orgasm again and again, is stupid, but also because of thin and fragile, can not last.
Light feeling, light understanding and tolerance, support and sharing, that is more like a higher purity of friendship. It is not love, but kindness. By the very nature of marriage, only the presence of sexual communion is healthy.
Why only want to marry the person you love the most?
Because sex is actually a form of great courage. It will reveal all our hidden secrets, it is the most humble and fragile, but also the ultimate happiness and moving.
From the perspective of the long-term relationship of marriage, it is a kind of continuous and profound communication. Being open about your sexual feelings and expectations tests how much you can trust your partner. Making the effort to meet them is a real sign of connection and respect.
There was a survey done on “sexless marriages” and two interesting things came out of it: 29 percent of couples live their lives to accomplish tasks; 12% of couples think sex is easy, but they can accept no sex to varying degrees.
They believe that sex life is an important measure of marital quality, and a healthy long-term marriage must be inseparable from a stable and high-quality sex life.
So they will be very anxious without sex life, just like completing a task, to get their own heart comfort.
So, is sexless life the real killer of marriage?
Not really. What’s really causing the lack of affection in a sexless marriage is something else — you’re not communicating anymore.
Sexology experts in “how to communicate and communicate about sexual life” survey shows:
The results of the survey show that 54% of couples, only occasionally talk about their sex life, can often talk about the couple has been only 1/10; A third of couples “never communicate” and “only through expressions or actions, not talking about it.”
Women may find more ways to improve their sex lives if they can talk to their loved ones about everything. The same goes for men. There’s no shame in talking about sex, it’s a right every adult should have.
Perhaps the process of communicating about sex makes you feel vulnerable or ashamed, and you worry that your partner won’t react the way you want them to.
But it is this kind of self-disclosure that will bring you closer.
Emotion and sex are the building blocks of a marriage.
If there is only affection and no sex in the marriage, then the partner who is not satisfied with sex will be in depression. If there is only sex but no emotion, then both parties will be in pain.
Therefore, in a good relationship, it’s half love and half sex.